Encouraging Words for Single Mothers
To encourage someone is to give support, confidence and hope.
Encouraging words can be to cheer, uplift, inspire, motivate and there are many, many more.
These are words that describe what most anyone needs in their life to have a level of success.
A mother’s role in a child’s life is to provide them with a sense of belonging in a loving, caring and nurturing household.
When a mother is not present, many times there are Grandmothers, Aunties, Sisters or Friends that are serving in the role of a mother.
To a child they are not only mother’s or mother figures…they are literally Angels.
It’s hard to believe that words alone can encourage someone, but if I were to give one word of encouragement, it would be to persevere.
The definition of perseverance is, to continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no prospect of success.
As a single mother who is trying her very best to succeed, why would we not encourage her to persevere?
It’s saddening to think that as a single mother, she has likely lived with years of self-doubt and fear.
She may have even wondered if she has what it takes to persevere.
A single mother that makes the choice to persevere, understands that she will no doubt face times that may seem like a never-ending growing mountain of challenges.
But she should also know and believe that she is worthy of divine intervention.
Miracles happen every day and present themselves in many ways in our lifetime.
She should trust that her prayers have been, will be, and always are…answered.
The feeling that she cannot succeed as a single parent in raising her child alone cannot exist.
She must believe in herself, believe that she has the strength and wisdom to make decisions that are aligned with advancing her through her journey.
To live not only her life with purpose, but her child’s as well.
And, at this moment, her purpose in this universe is being a mother to a child.
A child is precious and deserves every ounce of love that a mother has to give.
It’s a big load for a single mother to carry, to imagine that her child’s success is dependent on her alone.
Raising a child as a single mother means many times celebrating occasions alone with your child.
What might seem lonely to a single mother, but is the world to her child.
Considering the struggles that can be part of raising a child as a single mother, the true definition of success is not measured in dollars or stature.
Success isn’t defined or measured in the amount of money we make or generate in our lifetime; consider the wealth a mother carries in her heart.
Imagine as a single mother, your child is made to succeed because you chose to saturate them with unconditional love, care and compassion.
A single mother that is committed to persevering, understands the importance of showering herself with the same love, care and compassion that defines self-care.
Be patient with yourself, be understanding that mistakes will be made, and know that your
will and determination to persevere will lead you in the right direction.
And believe that all the while, throughout your struggles, you are being guided.
This is when you will see only one set of footprints in the sand, but they are not yours.
Believe that God is carrying you at this moment and that when the timing is right, He will set you back on your feet, with gained confidence, bravery and courage to continue your journey.
A single mother’s self-care will allow her to be present in her child’s life and to also be a positive role model.
As the saying goes, you can’t take care of others, if you don’t first take care of yourself.
A single mother that is intent on succeeding, understands the importance of self-care.
She knows the importance of having confidence in herself, even when self-doubt seeps into her thoughts.
Being able to recognize and accept, that unless she applies the same care to herself that she is pouring onto others, she cannot go forward in her child’s life with the best mental, emotional and healthy version of herself.
A single mother is also responsible for navigating relationships for herself and on behalf of her child.
This might be challenging for some, but considering that she has chosen perseverance over failure, she knows that she must lead with her heart.
It may be challenging and require a heap of discipline, but in order to succeed and stay on her path, she acknowledges the importance and benefits of nurturing healthy relationships, not only for herself but for her child as well.
Although a mother cannot cash in her heart, imagine…no heart, no love, no relationships, but money in the bank. Which would you choose?
As time goes on and as a mother, we realize that our kids are growing and that the years are passing quickly,
although, some days could not go by fast enough.
Mother’s will always have those days…the awful, busy, chaotic days.
A mother wears many hats and as a single mother, serves in many roles.
Mounting struggles come in many forms for a single mother. But with her determination to never lose focus of her purpose, she makes decisions that support her goal of succeeding.
Someone once told me that even when you feel that there is nothing you can do to help someone in need, that in fact, there is always something you can do, you can pray for them.
We can all do that.
And trust that somehow, someway, though some may never notice, prayers are answered.
We may never recognize the Angel’s that appear in our lives, but know and believe, that prayers are answered…in God’s timing, not ours.
God answers prayers, we don’t.
So let go and let Him guide you through your journey.
Consider it your journey of faith.
At some point, you will look back and be reminded of your struggles that you thought were unmanageable and overwhelming.
You may have felt like there was no relief of your worries, and that the only certainty you faced, was disappointment and failure.
Do not give up. Do not give in to adversity.
You must believe that failure is not an option, for you or your child.
Continue on your journey of faith and believe that somehow you will be guided to overcome obstacles that have appeared on your path.
The challenges you faced will eventually become a distant memory of the past.
Remain focused and make decisions, for you and your child, that do not interfere with your goal to achieve happiness and contentment in your lives.
For some single mother’s there may have been equal fear in staying or leaving a relationship.
A relationship that was entered into with a vision of what it would be, rather than what it was.
Kids inherit a lot from their parents, but hopefully not their hurt and pain.
A child doesn’t recognize or feel the hurt or guilt that a single mother might feel.
Harboring pain brought on by someone hurting you, has no bearing on a child, unless it’s made to be.
I’m reminded of a line in one of my favorite books, My Beloved World by Sonia Sotomayor.
In the story, her mother comments; I’ve been hurt as much as a person can be hurt.
A single mother makes many sacrifices for their child, including in some cases, deciding to let go of
past hurt or anger.
Living with hurt and anger is unhealthy and many times unbearable.
A single mother intent on succeeding knows that her journey is not hers alone but is also the journey
of her child.
As difficult as it may be to decide to let go of hurt, it’s equally as difficult and painful not to let go.
By holding on, we make a decision to carry a wounded heart and mind within us.
Decisions we make on a daily basis, may intentionally or unintentionally draw on these feelings.
Feelings that bring conflict and confusion into a single mother’s life, become barriers on her path to succeed.
A single mother who has made her choice to achieve her goals, recognizes and understands this, and draws on her inner strength to assure that she is making choices that will keep her on her perseverance journey.
A woman’s choice to become a single mother can be as daunting as choosing to remain in a relationship, with someone whose mind, soul and heart, was just not into raising a child.
There may have been signs of this in the relationship, and what she may have anticipated, a loving and caring partnership, was not her reality.
This is where support and encouragement without blame or judgement is needed.
Imagine being on the receiving end of never-ending encouragement and support?
When someone you care about and look up to, encourages you and provides support to you in an assortment of ways, it’s like standing under a waterfall of confidence.
Separation can be messy and difficult, hurtful and painful. How do you move forward?
When you realize what’s best for you and your child, you wonder, how can a mother’s love not be enough.
It is, but as a single mother, she must have an awareness of how, what and who, is affected by her decision-making.
She must always consider the consequences of her choices.
While traveling on her pathway to achieve her goals, she will gain confidence and courage needed to make difficult decisions.
She must always be mindful of making choices and decisions that will keep her on her journey to victory.
The first decision a single mother must make, is to take the first step in the right direction.
And each step after that, she must remain focused, as failure cannot be an option.
No doubt this will be a trial of her faith.
It’s said that a mother’s heart will carry her to the gates of Heaven…Imagine hearing the words,
Welcome, Job well done…Enter.
Y.M.